When loved ones die, we kind of tilt our heads upward and ask them to look out for us, thinking they’re up there in heaven where they can help us down here. And that is true, they can, and they do. Yet there is another thing unfolding. In Jewish Mysticism (which I fell in love with in my early twenties, or before really) there is a teaching that we actually have a large impact on those who have come before us and died before us.

How do we impact them? On earth, where there is a lot of contrast, pain and suffering, we are given a chance to expand God’s knowledge through our experiences, and then bring love, forgiveness and understanding into these painful situations. And when we bring love into sorrow or healing into injury, we not only help ourselves and people involved with us here in our lives (and often many we don’t know we are impacting) we help our loved ones and ancestors who have already died by increasing the Presence of Love. Yes, that’s right–our choices help them. And they’re rooting for us!

Our learning and expansion never ends. God is a great creator and the expansion of knowing and loving never stops.So when you forgive, you eventually do it to save your own self so you’re not miserable and unhappy, but realize too that you do that for your parents, grandparents and so forth. ALL will benefit from it, not just ourselves alone or the ones directly involved in the situation!